Monday, April 28, 2008
Another year....
It is such a cliche, but I am at a loss for any other way to express it.
Time is moving way too fast.
In a few hours from now, around 12:30 am, April 29, the clock will be at the hour of my birth, which happened fifty-seven years ago. It is not possible that it has been an entire year since I posted that picture to the right.
That's my favorite picture of me. She's a goofy kid who turned into a goofy adult and is now a goofy geezer. I found it in my father's things when we cleaned out his apartment last year.
This past year's been kind of a tough one. A year I don't want to repeat - ever. I'm glad to report, however, that right at this moment I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time.
Today at work during my weekly "relief" receptionist hour, a woman came in who was my age. I know that because part of the process in this office is to validate ID - license and social security card, please.
She looked fifty-seven. She looked like a senior citizen. I felt a pang in my stomach. Do I look like her fifty-seven? Must I accept that I've now passed the threshold and entered fully into senior-hood?
I'm not an overly vain person. My looks aren't that important to me (save for a brief period of girly-ness a while back that resulted in bras and painted toe-nails... I got over that, thank goodness...) ... but, I am concerned about looking old before I'm ready (as if one can ever be ready).
I am fortunate that my parents endowed me with a genetic framework that has kept me younger looking than my actual years most of my life. But, that fountain of youth isn't going to last forever - and it isn't.
The face is sagging, among other things. Wrinkles are increasing and deepening. Gray hair is hiding under the dye job.
I just don't feel it, though. I am way more immature than my years would suggest. Yet I wonder if I'm not breaking some unwritten rule somewhere that says at some point you have to be your age. I feel that I have to be careful not to end up a fool.
These are things that swirl through my thoughts more frequently these days but that I, for the most part, have been successful at ignoring. In spite of my fits of conern, I'm optimistic that, no matter how wrinkly or gray I get, I will avoid becoming an old fuddy duddy.
I may take more naps as time goes on, but I fully intend to rock on as long as this body lets me.
And I have to tell ya' - I was encouraged when I renewed my drivers license today. The agent had to call to get clearance to override the new facial recognition dealio.
My new picture had to be taken with glasses off and the machine couldn't match my face to the old picture. When she called to get the clearance, it almost wasn't granted. The person on the other end of the phone said the old pic and the new pic were two different people.
"Her hair is blonder, there're no glasses and she's smiling."
Finally, it was resolved and I went on my way with my new license. One, as a matter of fact, I don't mind showing. The first license picture I've ever liked. Just as much as I love that goofy kid in the picture above, I'm really liking the goofy geezer in the picture below.
Time is moving way too fast.
In a few hours from now, around 12:30 am, April 29, the clock will be at the hour of my birth, which happened fifty-seven years ago. It is not possible that it has been an entire year since I posted that picture to the right.That's my favorite picture of me. She's a goofy kid who turned into a goofy adult and is now a goofy geezer. I found it in my father's things when we cleaned out his apartment last year.
This past year's been kind of a tough one. A year I don't want to repeat - ever. I'm glad to report, however, that right at this moment I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time.
Today at work during my weekly "relief" receptionist hour, a woman came in who was my age. I know that because part of the process in this office is to validate ID - license and social security card, please.
She looked fifty-seven. She looked like a senior citizen. I felt a pang in my stomach. Do I look like her fifty-seven? Must I accept that I've now passed the threshold and entered fully into senior-hood?
I'm not an overly vain person. My looks aren't that important to me (save for a brief period of girly-ness a while back that resulted in bras and painted toe-nails... I got over that, thank goodness...) ... but, I am concerned about looking old before I'm ready (as if one can ever be ready).
I am fortunate that my parents endowed me with a genetic framework that has kept me younger looking than my actual years most of my life. But, that fountain of youth isn't going to last forever - and it isn't.
The face is sagging, among other things. Wrinkles are increasing and deepening. Gray hair is hiding under the dye job.
I just don't feel it, though. I am way more immature than my years would suggest. Yet I wonder if I'm not breaking some unwritten rule somewhere that says at some point you have to be your age. I feel that I have to be careful not to end up a fool.
These are things that swirl through my thoughts more frequently these days but that I, for the most part, have been successful at ignoring. In spite of my fits of conern, I'm optimistic that, no matter how wrinkly or gray I get, I will avoid becoming an old fuddy duddy.
I may take more naps as time goes on, but I fully intend to rock on as long as this body lets me.
And I have to tell ya' - I was encouraged when I renewed my drivers license today. The agent had to call to get clearance to override the new facial recognition dealio.
My new picture had to be taken with glasses off and the machine couldn't match my face to the old picture. When she called to get the clearance, it almost wasn't granted. The person on the other end of the phone said the old pic and the new pic were two different people.
"Her hair is blonder, there're no glasses and she's smiling."
Finally, it was resolved and I went on my way with my new license. One, as a matter of fact, I don't mind showing. The first license picture I've ever liked. Just as much as I love that goofy kid in the picture above, I'm really liking the goofy geezer in the picture below.
Labels: aging, Birthdays, staying young
Posted at 4:12 PM | |
